Some years ago, I was on an airplane crossing the Pacific Ocean and noticed a poster with Chinese calligraphy on it. The sinograph Chan was set off against a forest-green backdrop of bamboo trees. It exuded calmness and characterized the essence of ancient, Oriental spirituality. I had little idea then that Chan or Zen, or that captivatingly serene poster, was my unknowing introduction to the practice of meditation.
Recently, after much time in searching, I meandered onto the Chan path. Having practiced meditating on my own for about a year, I came across Master Sheng Yen on YouTube, and this led me to discover the Dharma Drum Vancouver Centre (DDVC), where I participated in the Meditation for Beginners class this summer. The class enhanced my learning and understanding of meditation in the Han Buddhism tradition.
Soon after the session, there was an announcement for a one-day meditation retreat I was more than happy to try out. At first, I hesitated, believing myself too much of a novice to participate, but my drive for further learning and interest in experiencing the breadth of meditation spurred me on, and I plunged in. Splash! I dived into the waters of the retreat, immersing myself consciously into all the scheduled activities led by the venerable Chang Wu Fashi.
In my personal, daily practice, I have come to realize that each meditation session I do is always different, each sitting made up of a confluence of factors, such as the effects of prior events leading up to that moment, the bio-rhythms of the day, the mindset I had, the condition of the body and mind, and the physical environment. With this knowledge at the forefront of my mind, I arrived at the retreat without any expectations, mentally prepared to accept the present moment for what it was. I considered my time away from the daily grind to be a kind of refuge, where my mind and spirit could escape the mundaneness of routine. The profound silence throughout the retreat, noble in nature to me, I welcomed with delight. It helped settle down the mental activity of my mind. This was further enhanced by the presence of the other practitioners in the group and the stillness that filled the Chan Hall. The whole process, under the guidance of the teacher, was conducive to transcending into stillness using only my breath. I experienced the joy of meditating in a group setting firsthand. My heart was filled with happiness as I dropped deeper into a meditative state, my only point of focus being on my breath. The thoughts subsided; the body relaxed. I felt liberated from the noise of endless activity, the multi-tasking so prevalent in the world I live in.
Apart from the meditation, there was more learning during mealtime. My mind, by now, was settled and quiet. I brought the mindfulness and singularity of focus from my meditation to the process of eating my food, paying close attention to the mechanics of picking up the food in the bowl and putting it into my mouth, where biting, chewing, and tasting took on a whole new meaning. I could more clearly see so distinctly the colours, sense the textures, and taste each morsel of the vegetables, rice, and noodles in my dish. This was an overwhelming experience, a snapshot of “what is. ” By being mindful and slowing down, I received clarity and learned what it truly meant to be “mindful.” In addition to eating, I had a chance to put single-minded focus into action by carrying out an assigned chore. Actually being mindful in carrying out the task made the chore more pleasurable to execute for a change! This led me to see how I could apply such a mindset to the work I do every day, to the deadline- driven and hectic pace of an environment I find stressful and full of vexation most of the time.
Another highlight of the retreat was the walking meditation. Walking with a purpose allowed me and other practitioners to feel and observe the movement of our feet. In this practice, I experienced the stabilizing force that helped my body feel grounded. A sense of absolute delight arose within me out of sheer awareness of the tactile stepping sensation and the assurance that the ground and my feet were supporting me. What a day! It has given me insight into what it means to be mindful; the power and impact it will have in my everyday life. I read about mindfulness in literature but having experienced it firsthand, makes it real. This realization will contribute to my well-being and those with whom I interact, now and in the future. Just as practicing Dharma has its benefits, so, too, does the practice of meditation. This, also, must be shared freely and widely, especially with those who want to listen.
This one-day retreat has opened my eyes and mind. The changes have been subtle yet impactful, and would not have come about with me meditating on my own. I look forward to multiple-day retreats to integrate and deepen my practice of mindfulness.
Written by Amy Lee 2022.11.23
Photo: Dharma Drum Vancouver Centre